Washerboard style

You may or may not know that my friend Catt and I are members of the worldwide auditory phenomenon known only as Bluegrass Deathmetal, and I think I am going to change my instrument from the washboard to my dog Achilles. (Chill out PETA, keep reading) I was watching the Matrix Revolutions, and at the end there is a techno song. I was scratching my dog, and I'll be damned if he didn't start scratching his foot along the carpet. At this precise moment it hit me: he is a living washer board instrument. He sounded just like one, and you could alternate his speed by how fast your scratch him. I really feel like the bluegrass fans will really like him, not only because he reminds them of a wild coyote, but also because he liked to kick ass and drink whiskey. I have also seen him in a bar fight, It was messy.