Washerboard style

You may or may not know that my friend Catt and I are members of the worldwide auditory phenomenon known only as Bluegrass Deathmetal, and I think I am going to change my instrument from the washboard to my dog Achilles. (Chill out PETA, keep reading) I was watching the Matrix Revolutions, and at the end there is a techno song. I was scratching my dog, and I'll be damned if he didn't start scratching his foot along the carpet. At this precise moment it hit me: he is a living washer board instrument. He sounded just like one, and you could alternate his speed by how fast your scratch him. I really feel like the bluegrass fans will really like him, not only because he reminds them of a wild coyote, but also because he liked to kick ass and drink whiskey. I have also seen him in a bar fight, It was messy.

Fast Food Delicacy or Disaster?

I have seen in my many travels that a plethora of restaurants offer drive through or to-go options of their food; and that is fine. But my friends there are foods that you shouldn't get in a drive through and one of them is sushi. I have see drive through sushi places and I was astounded. 1: Sushi is just rolled up rice and fish in a seaweed leaf. 2: Rice will flop out everywhere and make a large mess. 3: It is very difficult to use chop sticks while driving. Believe me. 4: You may say "Hey Bauman! just use your fingers." Well it is a well known fact that sushi needs to be dipped in the special sauces so that you don't realize you are eating something that swims in it's own feces, and be dipping said sushi in sauce you could get the sauce everywhere as well as limit your ability to drive because of the infamous greasy hand syndrome. Also you could stain your hands the color of the sauce and you would be known around the office as "that guy with the brown finger," and you don't want to be that guy (or girl). Is it a coincidence that there was a car wash facility close to this disaster in a drive through? No I think not.