Fun Facts About Beards!

1. When you own a beard you shave less, conserving water and limiting waste.
2. You can give beard burns.™
3. During the winter it's like having a scarf on your face.
4. Girls like beards.
5. You can put pencils or other writing utensils in it if you don't have pockets.
6. You can deflect errant frisbees bent on destruction.
7. Beards make you 63% more likely to win staring contests
8. If you get stuck in a tower, you can braid your beard into a rope and escape. This is known as the beardpunzel manuever.
9. If you fall on your face, your beard is 17% more likely to prevent road rash, and may actually give the road a beard burn; hence gravel.
10. In the 1800's beards were uses as emergency fuel for locomotives. That's the actually the reason why man conductors at the time had long sideburns, and not a full beard.
11. I once saw a beard jump off a man's face, put a gorilla in a head lock, steal it's bananas and then return all before my jaw hit the ground.
12. If you take a core sample from a strand of beard, you will find the exact same composition as a primordial planet. There are rumors that Mount Everest is Earth's goatee.
13. A rope made out of an adult male beard is 32 times as strong as steel. And 1000 times better looking.
14. Japanese ninjas plucked out beard hair and used it as throwing darts. Truth.